We can all agree that pizza one of the awesome things that happened to us humans. It is a great meal, plus you get to laugh off some pizza jokes.
If you ever thought food could not make you laugh, then you have not seen some of these pizza jokes. Take a seat and relieve some stress because you are about to be cracked up for good.
Pizza Jokes for Kids
- Do you know What a dog’s favorite pizza is?
- What does the pizza say when they want you to cuddle with them?
Answer: Fold me close!
- What did the culinary school teacher say about the pizza student?
Answer: There’s mushroom for improvement!
- How does a pizza introduce itself to you when you meet for the first time?
Answer: Slice to meet you!
- What makes Domino’s pizza jokes good?
Answer: The delivery
- What did the pizza say when the party ended?
Answer: Good-pie, everyone.
- What is the math teacher’s favorite food?
Answer: Pizza Pi.
- If it took six kids 5-minutes to eat a pizza, how long would it take three kids to eat the pizza?
Answer: None because the six kids already ate the pizza.
- Do you know Why Dracula ran out of the Italian restaurant?
Answer: Because they put garlic on his pizza.
- What did the pizza delivery guy say to the child at Christmas?
Answer: Merry Crustmas!
- What do baby doctors have in common with pizza store owners?
Answer: They both deliver!
Pizza Jokes for Lovers
- What kind of pizza do lovers order?
Answer: Truly Madly Deep-Dish Pizza
- When is it possible for a pizza to marry a hot dog?
After they have a very frank relationship!
- What is the favorite song of the pizza maker?
Slice, Slice Baby
- I am like Domino’s Pizza. If I do not come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
- Boyfriend: Hey babe, how about a pizza and some sex?
Girlfriend: (Slaps boyfriend)
Boyfriend: HEY! What’s wrong babe, you don’t like pizza?
- Stranger to boyfriend: How could you tell that you were in love?
Boyfriend: she stole a pizza my heart.
- What did the pizza say when it went to the art gallery?
“I never sausage a beautiful painting; it’s the best I’ve ever seen.”
Funny Pizza Puns
- Do you think pizzas are wealthy?
Yes, of course, they are rolling in dough.
- Have you ever thought of Why the man went into the pizza business?
Answer: He wanted to make some dough.
- When asked about his newest student’s pizza, What did the chef say?
Answer: She has mushroom for improvement.
- Do you know Why the pizza chefs were excited when they didn’t have to work?
Answer: Because they had more thyme to spend with their family!
- Do you know Why the famous pizza was sad?
Answer: That is because the pepperazzi are always chasing it.
- Do you have any idea Where Pharaohs like to eat?
Answer: Pizza Tut.
- How did Italy honor the pie?
By building a monument – the Tower of Pizza (Pisa).
- How can you tell that a pizza is left-handed?
Answer: After you finish eating, the remaining pieces are left!
- Why was the Hawaiian pizza not cooked?
Answer: Because the oven was on aloha temperature.
- Do you think it is necessary to be strong to stay in the pizza pie business?
Answer: Yes, indeed, you must be a good boxer.
- What did the aardvark order on his pizza?
Answer: He asked for Ant-chovies.
- In your opinion, do you think the pizza in this restaurant is worth talking about?
Answer: Talking about, yes; eating, no!
- What toppings do carpenters mostly love to put on their pizzas?
- Why are so many pizza restaurants located in shopping centers?
Answer: Why not? The mall, the merrier!
- Which subject in school do you think is preferred by pizza lovers who order sausage, meatball, pepperoni, and salami toppings?
- Do you know what the tough pepperoni said?
Answer: “Dough you wanna pizza me?”
- Where do pizzas like to visit for vacation?
Answer: they like Florida so that they can bake.
- What did the pizza say when the party ended?
Answer: “Good-pie everyone.”
- What did the pepperoni on the pizza say to the mushroom on the pizza? “Slice to meat you!”.
- What did the pizza say to the chef when it was thrown onto the pizza? “You don’t pepper-own me!”
What was the chef’s response to the pizza? “Don’t be saucy!”
- Why do they always invite Mr. Mushroom to the pizza parties? Because he is such a fungi!
- Do you know the type of cheese that my dogs love to have on their pizzas?
- What did the pizza say when it went out on a date?
“I never sausage a beautiful face.”
- What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
Answer: “You don’t pepper-own me.”
- Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Answer: Because they kneaded the dough!
General pizza jokes
- My kids once asked me how democracy works, so I told them to vote on dinner as a teaching exercise. They picked pizza…. but I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today…I Should’ve used aloha temperature
- I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD…… It cuts like a knife.
- The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop, and He asks, “Can you make me one with everything?”
He hands over $50, and the shopkeeper gives him his pizza, but no change.
The Dalai Lama: “Where’s my change?”
Shopkeeper: “Change comes from within.”
- A Buddhist walks into a pizza shop, goes straight to the counter, and says, “Can you make me one with everything?”
- I was walking outside a pizza shop, and I saw the signpost: Wood Fired Pizza.
And then I thought to myself: How is Pizza supposed to find another job now?
- I bet, If the pizza could talk, it would most probably say lots of cheesy things.
- Why did the man get a super spicy pizza? The waiter thought he ordered a “pepper-only” pizza.
- What’s the difference between a pizza and a good pizza joke? A good pizza joke can’t be topped.
- Customer running out of patience asks Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
The waiter replies: “No, miss, your pizza will be round.”
- I told my wife to make me a pizza.
Because goddamnit, I don’t wanna be a human anymore.
- What do Greek people use to cut their pizzas?
- Scientists Invent Machine That Can Ruin Any Pizza
It’s called a microwave.
- What did the retired priest call his pizza shop?
Answer: Cheesus Crust
- On my way back from work, I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke. But it appears she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
- Can I tell you a pizza joke?
I bet not; it’s too cheesy.
- How do you calculate the volume of a pizza with radius Z and height A?
Pi * Z * Z * A
- Have you heard about the new pizza outlet? It’s called Pizza Mafia
They’ll make you a pizza you can’t refuse.
- Have you ever considered What a T-Rex, a thot, and my pizza have in common?
They’re all meat lovers
- Why do restaurants put their pizza in square boxes?
Probably Because they don’t cut corners.
- I am a little ambivalent about pizza.
On the upside, it has some fantastic toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.
- What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four
- Being a pizza delivery person and a comedian is hard work.
You have the right stuff, but sometimes you get the delivery wrong.
BTW, they fired me from my pizza delivery job.
- I noticed a man cutting his pizza with a smartphone
I know it is cutting-edge technology, but jeez!!!
- What do you think is the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers?
Pizza delivery drivers actually face the consequences when their jobs aren’t done right.
- Why were the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they only got a plane.
- If you can’t decide on what kind of pizza to get, you’re indeSLICEsive.
- Why do pizza places always deliver the pizza before giving it to you? They should just have avoided putting the liver in the first place!
- A drunk student climbs into the back of an Uber and asks the driver, “Do you have room up there for a pizza and a six-pack’?
“Sure,” said the driver. So, the student leaned forward and threw up.
- Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
As he was finishing up his pizza, she asked, “Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?”
- Why don’t we hear many jokes about pizza? Because They’re too cheesy.
- I’m saving a bunch of money on pizza delivery. Because Whenever the doorbell rings, I answer it completely naked. So far, nobody’s stayed long enough to take my tip.
- What is the best thing to put in a pizza?
- What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common? Doh.
- I’m eating mostly whole foods lately; Whole pizzas, whole cheeseburgers, whole tubs of ice cream.
- A blonde walks into a pizza shop and orders a pizza, and the clerk asked if he should cut it into six or twelve pieces.
“Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”
- Why is 2020 pizza delivery like my ex-girlfriend? They both do no-contact orders!
- I used to go to church every week…But then they stopped ordering pizza from us.
- What is the best paying job in the world? I don’t know, but pizza chefs sure make a lot of dough
- What do you get if you cross 27 knives and a pizza? Little Ceaser’s.
- Why did the topping leave the pizza dough? Because it was too kneady!
- Do you know one thing that Fascism and Pizza have in common? Italy started it first; now they’re worst at it.
Medical Pizza Jokes
- News: Doctors recommend Pizza and pancake diet for Covid-19 patients…. And all other foods that can fit under the door.
- A man has been found dead at the pizza parlor; He was covered in ham, pineapple, onions, mushrooms, bell pepper, ground beef, pepperoni, and four cheeses.
Police investigation says he topped himself.
- Come to think of it; I just realized that an ambulance and a pizza delivery driver have something in common.
If either of them shows up late, the delivery goes cold.
- A pizza died yesterday; Apparently, it topped itself
- What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over your pizza? Little Sneezers
- Thinking about how much weight I’ve put on over the pandemic, I can’t help wishing that I stayed in Britain…
I’d eat pizza every day, and I’d just keep losing pounds.
- You order one pizza, and you love it: next time, you order a pizza and garlic bread. Before you know it, you’re eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don’t get one…
That’s the domino effect.
- What is an epileptic’s favorite pizza place?
Answer: Little Seizures
Nasty pizza jokes
- What’s good on a pizza but not on a pussy? Crust.
- My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant……I can’t pull anything out in time!
- I told my boyfriend we could watch porn for his birthday and do everything we saw in the video…
He was super psyched until I fucked the pizza guy.
- Sex is like pizza…
If you are going to use barbecue sauce, you better know what you are doing
- A little boy was jealous that his newborn brother was getting all his family’s attention now, so he decided to put poison on his mom’s nipples.
Two days later, the mailman, a neighbor, and the pizza delivery guy were found dead.
- What’s the difference between pizza & pussy?
With pizza, you can eat the crust
- Sex is like pizza
I can’t remember the last time I had pizza.
- Pizza guy: Your total is $26.34
Me: I can’t afford that
Pizza guy: Well, you’ll have to pay some other way.
Me: [takes out wallet] Wait, I forgot I had 30 dollars.
Porn Director: Cut! The fuck are you doing?
- A gynecologist is just like a pizza delivery guy; They both get to smell it, but they can’t eat it.
- Did you hear about the new pickle pizza?
It’s made with a dill-dough
- A father of 3 and one of his sons were cooking pizza
They put the pizza in the oven and waited
When the timer went off, the father went to pull it out when the son said, “Let me pull it out.”
The father then said, “You shouldn’t; it’s really hot.”
The son replied, “Dad, you have three children; I don’t trust you to pull out.”
I am sure some of these jokes cracked you up. Life is already difficult, and it is necessary to find a way to cool off and be happy.